


The Ending That Ash Deserved

by ExistencialCrisis15



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash Lynx and Okumura Eiji Go to Japan, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Okumura Eiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28164408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistencialCrisis15/pseuds/ExistencialCrisis15
Summary: The plane ride to Japan isn't as peaceful as it should be. Too much has happened for Ash to just calm down. Eiji is going to be here until he does though.I haven't actually finished Banana Fish.I'm pretty sure I know how it ends though.No matter how it ends this is the ending in my mind.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 46





	The Ending That Ash Deserved

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta for this and I probably won't edit it. I just wrote this in 15 minutes after finishing episode 17. I wasn't going to write anything for this fandom but I did and even though I'm sure it's crap, I'm posting it because I'm emotional.

Golzine is dead.

Blanca is gone.

Eiji is on an airplane back to Japan.

Ash is fidgety beside him.

“Are you scared?” Eiji asks teasing but his smile falls when Ash actually looks over at him. “Hey what’s wrong?”

Ash doesn’t respond immediately, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t know.”

Eiji can feel the honesty in the words.

Ash is feeling a lot of things. He’s never been one to get overwhelmed easily. There isn’t much that can scare him... not in any way that matters. For some reason though he feels like he’s going to fall apart right here in this seat. Like he’s not going to make it to Japan. Like everything is wrong and off and his heart is beating so fast it feels like he’s in the middle of a firefight but he’s not.

“Ash” Eiji’s voice is soft and he touches the blond's hand only once he’s looking. Moving slowly so that Ash could pull away if he wanted too. “It’s okay right, we’re safe right now.”

It sounds like a question but it’s not. Eiji knows that Ash couldn’t tell right now. They could be surrounded by the mafia and Ash would be none the wiser. He’s all thrown for a loop. He should be safe now but he doesn’t feel safe. Or he does, he just still feels scared.

Eiji thinks it might be because he doesn’t have any weapons on him. But he’ll have to get used to that if he’s going to stay with Eiji in Japan. He knows this is more than that though, Ash has been surprisingly fine for the past month as they got him a new identity and passport and then the plane tickets and said so long to his gang. They weren’t surprised to see him go but they were still sad.

When the engine starts new fear shoots through Ash. His hand squeezes Eiji’s for dear life and his other holds the armrest. He shouldn’t be scared of flying but right now he is. He’s just scared in general and the loud engine and jerky movement as the plane backs up makes his heart beat impossibly faster.

“Ash breathe” Eiji looks over at him just rubbing his thumb over the back of the blond's hand.

“Eiji I’m scared” Ash’s voice is small and desperate.

“It’s okay, I’m right here, we’re safe, no one is going to hurt you.”

“I know- I know but- I don’t know what’s happening” Ash speaks quickly breathing fast, “I don’t know where I’m going and I can never go back, the only person I’m going to know in Japan is you and I’ve lived my life looking over my shoulder, but I don’t really have to any more, but I still feel like I do, I feel so out of control, everything is different- and the plane is taking off.” Ash squeezes his eyes shut and holds onto Eiji for dear life.

“Ash” Eiji says over the roar of the engine, “Ash look at me.”

Ash’s eyes snap open and the fear in them is so sharp it makes Eiji want to cry. Ash has spent so much of his life afraid he doesn’t know how to not be afraid anymore.

“Breathe with me okay” Eiji pulls in a slow breath watching Ash copy him, “good, good, just slow deep breaths, I think you’re going to like Japan but if you don’t I’m not going to hold you hostage.”

Ash’s face starts to relax and he releases his grip on Eiji’s hand a little bit as his thoughts stop reeling.

“We’ll get settled in, I’ll help you get a job and we’ll find you a good therapist” Eiji says with a grin.

Ash huffs at that looking away.

“One for me as well” Eiji laughs at the boy who had a few moments ago looked like his world was falling apart now pouting out the window, “you’re so moody, I love you though.”

Even though he’s looking away Eiji can see the blush that spreads up Ash’s face. The blond pulls his hand away holding it to his chest. He doesn’t speak loud enough for Eiji to hear but he grumbles something under his breath.

Eiji just leaves him be. He’s used to Ash pulling away when he feels Eiji is getting too close to him. Even if they are about as close as they could get without actually calling what they are “dating”, the blond is still anxious about it. They’ve stayed up for plenty of long nights talking. They are on the same page, even if sometimes it feels like Ash is in an entirely different book. Sometimes he’ll look at Eiji like he’s a star that he’ll never reach and then act shocked when the boy touches him.

“You can hold my hand if you feel scared again, I want to be there for you when you’re scared, I want to make you feel safe again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. :)
> 
> If you're curious, the reason I didn't binge watch Banana Fish in one day is because I'm too emotional and had a full emotional breakdown for the entirety of the 9 episodes I watched. Now 3 months later I start watching it again in the middle of an episode of dissociation and it still makes me cry. I'm only allowing myself to watch 2 episodes a day and then I listen to the first theme song for an hour after because my feelings hurt. Usually shows don't bother me this much but this one hits me real hard.


End file.
